Saturday, July 16, 2011

 Chair game   Laurie Fox PESSEMIER   Acrylic on canvas   12 x 16 inches
 Musical chairs   M. Blair PESSEMIER   Acrylic on canvas 9 x 12
 Card Shark   Laurie Fox PESSEMIER   Acrylic on wood  12 x 7

Artnotes: my own ears

“Aren’t the fireworks scary for her? Dogs can’t stand this…”  Harika yawned, as the American woman looked at us like the SPCA enforcer.   Harika isn’t afraid of fireworks,  I tell her, or any noises, really – Harika grew up on the beach in a resort town.  Her biggest fear is of German shepherds and horses (hide the puppies!).
Thursday was Bastille day, and it has been years since we’ve watched the fireworks.  They were better than I remember, with red, heart-shaped explosions; multi colored sprays, like Christmas lights; and showers of gold coins.  I try to paint them, after the fact, but it’s just not the same.  I will keep trying.
We missed the morning parade, but I stood on our balcony watching the airshow from afar.  In fact, the swallows stole the show.  They looked bigger to me than the planes (my vantage point), and are ever more maneuverable, turning on a wingtip, beaks wide open.
We all waited nervously on the bridge at Concord for dark, 11 PM.   I  listened to the banter of mostly Americans, some Italians, around me.  Chatter, chatter.  No French, they are all on vacation.   I try to put it all into perspective, but it’s better just to ignore it.  One man is going on at length about how lucky they are to be in Paris while they can still walk; the talk evolves into estate planning and who is getting what in his will.    I try to make believe I don’t understand, but I do.   The Eiffel Tower twinkles.  Soon it will be extinguished for the show.  The iron lady disappears.  There is a hush and a scattering of red white and blue bursts fill the sky.  We are underway.
I’ve been reading about how to be positive, succeed, lead my life   -- there are scads of internet preachers, and enough people around me with the same mission.  However,  I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION:  it is one thing to read about it and try to make yourself do it, but there is something deep inside which tells me what is right.  I have an inner compass.  The word in French is boussele – someone in the park brought the word up, asking me what it was in English, and I thought yes, I have my own.
I know what to do, and when and how.  It is all there.  I am complete, like a set of dishes, and there’s no sense in bringing out the dessert plates when we’re going out for ice cream. 
Who I am is a strong person, sometimes weak when it comes to dealing with other people.   I have a giant desire to be happy and self actualized, with Blair and Harika.   
There is no formula to happiness.  In fact, what works for one doesn’t work for another.  Two great individuals might have two completely different formulas for life.  But they didn’t read about how to get there on the internet.  They didn’t cling to other people’s ideas at all.  They listened to the universe with their own two ears.

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